1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (a passage we've all heard at some point) talks about what love is...it is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. God is love, so this passage defines Him and how He is with me. He waits, patiently. He never gives up and He's right here with me through everything I put myself through from my own decisions. I'm supposed to become like Him. I'm supposed to walk in that same love, in every area of my life. Accepting His love covering me and forgiving me, in turn I'm supposed to love the same way He does...humbly, gently, passionately, and mercifully. You would think that being a mom that that nature would naturally come out of me. However, I had put myself on a feminist path to "showing" others that I can be strong & make it on my own (for the most part). God asked me, "Cassie, do you want to be successful and acquire a level of independence for yourself and essentially end up alone, or do you want a home and a family, a life full of love, My love?" When He asked me that question it stopped me in my tracks. Nothing can replace Gods love. True love. No amount of success will work. There had been a hole in my heart that I was trying to fill with something tangible, humanly acquirable. All the things I have thought that I wanted in life were for all the wrong reasons. Reasons the world defines as OK. My answer to that question used to be, "to be successful and independent, moving higher to better "places" in life"...but He's showing me that there is so much more than success and independence. Answering honestly...I want a home full of His love. I want my home and family to be the world that God uses me in to demonstrate His love.
After being honest with Him in my answer, God said, "Okay, Cassie, what spirit are you bringing into the home you have now? Is it a spirit of love, compassion, peace, and joy? Or is it a spirit of discontentment, anger, and "Ugh, I don't have time to deal with this tonight"?" BAM! Reality check. Truthfully (in tears), sadly, I've been the latter. Deep in me is truly the desire to to be a woman that brings home love, compassion, peace & joy. I want to become like Him. And in order for that to happen I have to change my way of thinking, how I act, what I speak and how I speak it, how I carry myself and handle others...I have to transform my mind with His love...I have to act on situations more like He would, instead of reacting in my own way...I need to be patient with my daughter when she's not understanding instructions the first time. I need to be more gracious to the old lady checking me out at Walmart. I need to be kind to my co-workers and the person that just cut me off on the highway. I need to be gentle with anyone I speak to. I need to be compassionate to others in need of encouragement...You get the picture...By changing my thoughts, my actions will follow...by doing so I know that His fruit will ooze out of me, (Galatians 5:22-23) He will produce in me: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I want my home to be overflowing with these fruits...in order for that to happen I need to change. In Romans 13:8, God says that I owe nothing to anyone-except for my obligation to love others. If I love others, then I will fulfill the requirements of Gods heart. I will become more like Him, genuinely.
I'm so thankful that He is breaking my self-destructive way of thinking...I'm so thankful that He is softening my heart...I'm so thankful that He is changing me into the woman He created me to be. I'm letting go of all the "things" that I've wanted for my life for so long and letting him start to drop in the desires He has for my life. Believing in and operating in Gods love is truly another world to me now. I know I will be tested, but I know He is engraving His words on my heart & helping me to change. Thankfully He has given me a perfect example to follow in Proverbs 31:10-31, to teach me how to run my home and how to operate in His love. I need to focus on love. Pursue it. Practice it. Study it. Grow up in it. The more I meditate on this passage and on His love and practice it in my daily life the more & more I will become the woman He wants me to be: loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle & self-controlled.
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